Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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