her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
