I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
