Who did Billy Mays play for?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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