he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So squirting runs in the family.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
