Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
