Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
