Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
if only i could text you this smell
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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