drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
