Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
