I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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