break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
