So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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