You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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