did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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