He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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