I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
