Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
