so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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