apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
