My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
