Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
