on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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