I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
