the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
