he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
