..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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