Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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