Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
