You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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