so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
