Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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