You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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