why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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