real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Randomize
