When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
