Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
