So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
