What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
