Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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