the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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