Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
