playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
