What a fucking waste of an outfit
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
