I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
