bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
