im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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