shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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