I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
