Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize