what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
